Death is one of the toughest topics in modern day living, to be talked about and addressed. As whenever people are in such a conversation, they have to engage and maybe even experience some aspect of their own death. This makes us very uncomfortable. We live in a world, where progress, growth and permanency are religiously followed. The thought of losing everything by death scares most of us.
In my work with Forest School Singapore, I’m placed in a space and environment where the whole ecosystem is fuelled by death at almost every moment. From the ant-shoe accidents, to the bird-insect hunt, to the life and death game that the animals and plants are so dramatically part of everyday. I remember, watching a butterfly being stuck on a spider web at a bridge at Mandy’s Creek of Rifle Range Forest. The host was not at home at that time. The beautiful yellow tip butterfly was struggling to get out of the web, she fluttered furiously, much to no avail for a good 20 minute. During that period of time, I experienced a deep tension and struggle. Do I save her? But we were taught to never interfere with Nature. But then again I feel her pain, aren’t we all animals as well. When we feel the pain of another shouldn’t we do something about it? But what about the Spider’s pain of hunger? The flux of tension was absolutely intense. By the grace of the Forest and maybe my own energy of intention, the butterfly manages to release herself out of the web, as I step back with a sense of relief. I believe I am not the only one who experiences this tension and emotion. Many of us would have experienced or felt something similar in life.
This deeply reflective journey on death, struggle and choice, brought me closer and closer to the element of uncertainty and life meaning. It is a spiritually enriching and depressive experience to go deep into this world of Nature. My realisations and understandings from the journey continue to evolve and take different shapes. Not all of them stay through time. Here are some of them…
Death is a cycle that regenerates the ecosystem. When one figure falls, they fall so that others can grow and develop from the cycle, and maybe take its place (or a version of its place) in the ecosystem. The journey from life to death stores with it an immense amount of strength. And they are released back as Nutrients (not just the physical form) to the ecosystem of life and energy.
Death is a definite end physically. It is in that space that we can understand the infinite existence of energy and the universe. The fallacy of immortality or permanence drives us to complacency and possessiveness. Imagine a glass cup. It will break if we drop it or do not take good care of it. Even without negligence, the glass through years of weathering, will develop micro-cracks that will one day still disintegrate. When we pay attention to it, and make an effort to care for it, we will lengthen its lifespan. But it is not without the notion of its impermanence. However in the case of a plastic cup, we will treat it very differently, for we know it is almost unbreakable (though still not immortal). It is through the understanding of death, that we can fully realise our strength in the love of elements, over the fear of losing our physical possessions.
This journey of facing death and struggle, leads to the realisation of approaching life with balance, instead of avoidance and escape. In death and struggle we see the reality of Nature. This gives us a sense of what the balanced state of existence means. It becomes an awareness that we will then behave and naturally work at. The effect of that work spans across thousands of years, or even beyond light years. Some of this work seems small, but the effects can reverberate across time and space.
The realisations of cycle, balance, death and our existence, allows one to accept the immense power we have in us. Not power to be possessed. But the power of Nature and the universe, embodied in us and everything else.
I’m privileged to be able to share and express these humble and also evolving realisations and understanding. They came through the teaching of Mother Nature herself. I feel that I am blessed to be able to experience these realms of reality in such depth. It is the practice and work with such close proximity with Mother Nature that allowed me this space. I am grateful.
Written by: Darren Quek
Editted by: Wei Shimin
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